I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
