Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
