Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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