Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
