that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
