I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
