bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
