Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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