The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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