shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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