Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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