Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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