I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
false alarm, still single
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