If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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