Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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