Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
