I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
