are you so shy because you have an std?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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