He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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