I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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