chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
handjob tips. give me some.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize