im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
