I don't think brook has ever known best
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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