so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
