I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
