My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
