yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
