Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
