honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
