the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
