Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
