An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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