I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
