she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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