so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
