We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
