I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We named our party play list daddy issues
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
