Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
