Ambien. No doubt about it.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Holy sore nipples Batman
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
