So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
