Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
