sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
