and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
