This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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