Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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