Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
