is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
