Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
