matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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