I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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