Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
