honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
