I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
