i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
