Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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