idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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