do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I deserve this hangover.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
