my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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