Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
