He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
