I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
