you guys were way drunker than both of me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We left an ass print on the piano.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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