look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
