you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
