Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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