I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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