But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
