At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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