We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
