Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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